Friday, October 4, 2013

Japanese women don't appear to care whether a man finds them beautiful.

I'll tell you what's worse than mime or clowning. Whistling.

"How came you to claim an exception from all mankind?" —Jonathan Swift to Thomas Sheridan

The bliss of the sheep is not the bliss of the wolf.

You show the disappearing lynx in the disappearing wilderness and the homeowners want to go and appear with them.

We're the ones who know how nature functions.

I've been told I flirt, and I think it's flirtatious to be told I do.

You're about as touchless as a trumpeter's lips.

A woman told me she went to college in Connecticut. I told her she didn't have to be ashamed of going to Yale. Most universities have a reputation they don't deserve.

Tell me how many squares of toilet paper you use to wipe, and I'll tell you what sort of an environmentalist you are.

I got tired of her. She was in such a hurry not to die.

I don't care much for oceans. I like rivers. I can see the other side.

He had back surgery on his hand.

God has only designed one golf course.

He was killed when a suitcase fell on his head as the train came to a sudden stop. He was leaning down to tie his shoes. The suitcase was heavy enough to break his neck.

I want to be a scarf around your neck and smell like your knotty, snarly hair.

He was killed when the heater exploded as he was letting water and steam out of a valve. The woman he had fallen in love with the day before came in to find him dead and took him in her arms.
Language is not a set of muffin tins.